When a couple begins a divorce procedure, they may need to settle the question of custody of their minor children. In the old days, custody was almost automatically given to mothers, but that is not always the case these days. Regardless of why the marriage has ended, it is necessary for both parties to understand that being civil to one another will help the transition for the children. When this cannot happen, it may be better for everyone to allow a custody lawyer handle all conversations back and forth and to represent the best interests of the children in court. Custody lawyers represent each side which makes it difficult for the child to be represented as well, so the court may order the appointment of a guardian ad litem who will speak to the child and meet with both parents individually so that they can make recommendations to the court and to the parents about what would best suit the children and their needs. The guardian ad litem may also suggest that there be a parenting plan drawn up for both parties to follow so that there are no disputes about how the child is being raised while in either home. The parenting plan may address bedtimes, religious upbringing and other issues.