What alternatives to court are there for determining child custody?

Those facing a divorce are facing one of the most difficult circumstances families can face.  Divorce is even more complex when children and child-custody disputes are in question.  While different rules exist for determining custody in different states, so for example child custody in Virginia may be different than elsewhere, all states encourage an alternative to a court decision. Rather than having a drawn out court case over child custody, divorcing parties may want to consider these alternatives: 

• Collaborative Divorce – in a collaborative divorce, the spouses can agree upon the terms of the divorce, including who will get custody, without the involvement of third parties.  The divorcing couple collaborates on the terms of child custody, and other things, and these are finalized legally in a binding divorce agreement.

• Mediation Divorce – in the case when the spouses do not see eye-to-eye on everything, as they might with a collaborative divorce, but when they still want to avoid court, a mediation divorce might be a feasible option.  In this case, a neutral third party appointed by the divorce court attempts to advise the parties of their rights, without offering legal advice. 

• Arbitration Divorce – in addition to mediation and collaboration, arbitration is another alternative in considering child custody.  An arbitrator is selected by both parties in the divorce, and may be a retired judge or attorney with experience in divorce cases.  The arbitrator hears each side in a conference room setting and makes determination on child custody and other matters.

When you are contemplating divorce, you should speak to a lawyer as soon as possible about all of your options for how custody can be decided.