The mother of my children is denying joint custody without a court order. Can she legally do this?

In a practical sense, no she cannot. You have every right to spend time with your children, and not allowing you custody is something you shouldn’t take lightly. Unless a court order has been entered giving explicit terms of child custody, you are typically ensured 50% rights to custody of your children.

Allowing her to have custody is not a good idea because she may try to use it against you later to show in court that you had no desire to be with them. You should be aggressive in your custody claim to ensure that you do not lose any rights. The first thing you should do is speak with an experienced divorce attorney who specializes in child custody matters to ensure that your rights are protected. By being aggressive, it will show the court that you are passionate about your children and do not take custody lightly.