What will happen to our children when we separate?

You can determine what happens. The best solution for the children is for the parents to agree on who will take care of them. If you and the other parent agree on a parenting plan, you and/or your lawyer should attach a written copy of your plan to the dissolution papers.

Your parenting plan can become a court order. In most cases, a judge will approve a custody plan that both parents want.
What happens if the other parent and I cannot agree on custody or visitation?

If you and the other parent are unable to agree on custody or visitation, a judge will make the decision. There are several steps to finalizing a custody plan. Custody and visitation can be decided on a temporary basis if there are immediate problems.

For example, school may be starting and you cannot agree on where the children will attend school, or one parent intends to move and wants to take the children.
Before the court makes a temporary or permanent order, the parents will meet with a "court mediator." The court mediator helps parents work out a plan that will be good for you and your children.

In some counties, the court mediator will make recommendations to the judge; in other counties, if the parents do not reach an agreement, the mediator does not make recommendations.

Depending upon the nature of the custody dispute, the court may order a psychological evaluation of the family. The judge may also appoint an attorney to represent the children.

You and the other parent may be charged all or part of the cost of the appointed attorney If there is a custody dispute, you may want to be represented by an attorney.