Empowered Author Weathers Real-Life Drama With Husband As She Promotes Latest Novel

After the release of "Waiting to Exhale" 10 years ago, fans demanded more from their relationships. Droves of women tore through "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" in 1998, then hopped on planes to Jamaica, dreaming they'd find a younger man like the title character. Now McMillan, 53, has a new release, "The Interruption of Everything," about a middle-aged woman who decides to make her own needs her priority. But McMillan often upstages the character these days as she publicly discusses filing for divorce in January after her much-younger Jamaican husband, Jonathan Plummer, acknowledged he is gay. "God chose me to have this happen to," she says. "I can't believe how many people are telling me this happened to them too. It's almost like being raped back in the day -- you were ashamed and didn't tell anybody. Now, because I talk about this, other women are talking about this." The Port Huron native says her heart was broken in mid-December when Plummer told her he is gay. Now, after months of being angry about the timing of his news, she has decided it takes too much energy to be angry. Instead, she says she is using her energy to share her experience while she promotes her sixth novel on a 16-city book tour.

(On Thursday, she'll make stops at Borders in Dearborn and the Oak Park Library.) Helping other women, and perhaps some men as well, is therapeutic, McMillan says. Yet she still seems compelled to talk about Plummer. Something about him spills into nearly every sentence. During a recent telephone interview from a Philadelphia hotel room, she speaks of watching "Oprah" for clues about men like him. She reads books and articles in Psychology Today magazine, searching to learn more about people in similar situations. In the past two week, she has talked about her divorce on "Today," "Good Morning America" and other shows. "It wasn't about him being gay," McMillan says. "It's the deception and when you think you are dealing with someone you think you can trust."

That speaks to some of McMillan's readers as much as her books.

Regina Johnson of Dearborn says she can relate. "I'm going through the same thing, except he's not gay." The day after she learned McMillan had filed for divorce, she discovered that her live-in boyfriend had been involved with another woman since the day they met.

Johnson has long likened McMillan to a friend. "Her books can actually be me," she says. "It's like we're sitting at the kitchen table and just talking."

Gloria Palmer feels the same way about McMillan's work.

"I can relate to the changes men put you through," the Detroiter says. "You've heard these stories from a friend."

McMillan appreciates the sense of connection, but she warns readers that she's not an expert on relationships despite her books or her personal story.

"I'm no magician. I'm no evangelist," she says. "I do not have any answers. Some days, I'm just as confused as everybody else. My marriage was a mistake, but it's not the end of the world. People ask, 'Well, Terry, do you think you'll love again?' What a dumb question! I'll always know I'll love again."

McMillan believes the honesty she has relayed through her characters is what deeply resonates with women. They share experiences and feelings with the characters or they know someone who does.

"The only thing I do in my work is try to express longings," she says. "We all have the same longings. What hurts you probably hurts me. That's what I write about. What would it feel like if my sister were a drug addict? What would it feel like if my mother had Alzheimer's? How would I feel if I found out my husband was cheating on me? It's the emotional element. That's what people appreciate."

Meanwhile, McMillan says it's time to step back and take stock of goals, dreams, wants and needs. She has taken up Pilates. She plans to study French, and she is considering going to live in Paris for two or three months.

"I started taking a yoga class," she says. "I sit and read without putting the television on. I don't go to sleep to the TV. I don't TiVo everything. I swim in my swimming pool instead of looking at it."

She also wants to spend time with AIDS orphans in Africa. "I don't know if my heart can take it," she says, "but I'm going to do it anyway."

McMillan says no longer will she be guilty of common mistakes she shares with some women -- placing too much emphasis on the men and children in their lives.

And like Marilyn, the main character in her newest book who started a fitness program and returned to school, McMillan encourages women to go after their goals when they figure out what they are.

"If you are 55 years old, you can still go to college," she says. "You can still go to Africa if that's been your fantasy. If you don't have the money, sell your house and let your kids come to visit you in a condo. Don't worry about keeping an extra bedroom, if this is what you need to do.

"Whatever you've been fantasizing about that's within your reach, forget about being scared and keep going. Do everything that's within your power and keep doing it."

"The Interruption of Everything" (July 2005, Viking) -- A middle-aged woman struggles with how to focus on her own needs without shortchanging everybody else.

"A Day Late and a Dollar Short" (January 2001, Viking Penguin) -- A family matriarch, her sometimes-husband and their four adult kids stick with one another -- on their own terms -- through thick and thin.

"How Stella Got Her Groove Back" (August 1998, NAL/Dutton) -- In Jamaica on vacation, a single mother in her 40s falls in love with a man half her age and finds true happiness.

"Waiting to Exhale" (September 1994, Pocket Books) -- Four women living in Phoenix devote most of their energies to searching for the one good man who will make their dreams of the perfect partner and lover come true.

"Disappearing Acts" (August 1993, Pocket Books) -- Two loners attempt to have a relationship.

"Mama" (December 1993, Pocket Books) -- After a fight, a proud mother of five children throws her drunken husband out of the house. On her own in the poor town of Point Haven, Mich., she scrimps, drinks, works and goes on welfare, struggling to raise her kids and keep her sanity