Collaborative Divorce: Position-based Bargaining

Collaborative divorce is a recent trend in divorce negotiation. This type of divorce focuses on settling matters outside of court, and in a way that offers divorcing couples the opportunity to focus on their children’s well being and on maintaining an amicable relationship.

Attorneys who handle collaborative divorce are trained to focus on creatively solving the issues that are important to each individual family, without relying on the typical divorce arrangements.

In collaborative divorce, both parties meet with each other and their respective attorneys to work out the settlement. Parties must be committed to discussing issues calmly and working toward a settlement that is mutually beneficial. If you’re out to “win” or “get it all” or “punish” your spouse, collaborative divorce will not work.

Position Based Bargaining

Position based bargaining is the tool traditionally used in divorce. This sort of bargaining involves taking a position on each issue at the beginning and sticking with that position. You’re striving to get what you want; based on the position you’ve taken.

This is not the type of bargaining that is used in collaborative divorce. Rather, collaborative divorce works based on interest based bargaining.

Interest based bargaining involves understanding what is important to each party and why. Based on this knowledge, couples come to see each other’s perspective on important issues. This makes them much more willing to negotiate, and makes them more willing to give in to things that are really important to their spouse, so that they can, in turn, have the things that are most important to them.

Changing the Rules of Divorce

Divorce is typically about “getting as much as possible” or “punishing” the soon to be ex. Collaborative divorce changes all of that. The goal in collaborative divorce is to settle things amicably, protect children and have a long term relationship with your ex that allows for, at the very least, cooperative co-parenting.

Collaborative divorce doesn’t work for every couple. Sometimes parties are so hurt or so angry that they simply cannot be civil and reasonable with their spouse. For these couples, traditional divorce may be the only route.

However, if you can put aside your anger and work with your spouse to resolve issues fairly and with everyone’s best interest in mind, collaborative divorce can be a great way to relieve the stress and heartache that comes from negotiating a divorce settlement.

Choosing Your Attorney

Not all divorce lawyers handle collaborative divorces. If you’re considering this route, be sure to find an attorney who specializes in this type of divorce. They can guide you through the steps of making divorce as painless as possible.