Collaborative Mediation

When most of us think of divorce, we envision courtrooms, lots of yelling between parties and an ending that leaves at least one party feeling resentful. But today, there’s more than one way to get a divorce. Collaborative mediation and collaborative divorce offer tools that are much more civil, and lead to a more beneficial ending for everyone involved.

Collaborative mediation is a method of resolving disputes in divorces and other family matters. Collaborative mediation strives to understand the needs of both parties and find solutions that benefit everyone.

Collaborative mediation is often a tool used in collaborative divorce, where parents are striving to maintain an amicable relationship so that their children are minimally damaged by the divorce, and so that they can effectively co-parent in the future.

Who Can Use Collaborative Mediation?

Couples who go with collaborative divorce must be able to sit down and discuss issues with each other, along with their attorneys. For some couples, it simply is not an option because there is so much animosity between them. It’s important to consider whether or not you really have the capacity to negotiate calmly with your partner and whether you’re capable of working to see his or her perspective on issues.

In collaborative mediation, couples will seek to understand why certain issues, and even possessions, are so important to their partner. This helps both sides understand that each of us has things that have great importance to us, while other issues have less importance. The goal is that each side doesn’t get “everything” but gets what they really value, whether it’s the china you got as wedding gifts or the July 4th weekend with the kids.

How Do I Seek a Collaborative Divorce?

First, talk with your partner. Both of you must agree that collaborative divorce and mediation is the route you want to take. Then, each of you will need to find an attorney who specializes in collaborative mediation and divorce.

When you choose collaborative divorce, you must understand that the agreement does not include litigation. If your divorce cannot be settled amicably through collaborative mediation and you head for litigation, you’ll have to find other attorneys.

Why a Specialized Attorney?

Not all divorce attorneys are trained in collaborative mediation. You’ll want to choose one who specializes in this service to ensure that they are trained in helping you and your spouse find creative solutions to your issues. They work toward a very different outcome in divorce proceedings than do traditional divorce lawyers.