Reasons to Consider Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that has become increasingly popular. For a long time, people believed that court systems were the way to go. Judges are vested with authority, they have legal power to compel evidence and to make rulings, and they are believed to be knowledgeable and know what is best. This is all true in most cases, but it is also important to remember that going to court is expensive and can be time consuming and stressful. ADR, or alternative dispute resolution- which consists of mediation and arbitration and other ways of handling things out of court- provides an alternative to litigation in many such situations. One such situation is divorce.

Understanding Divorce Mediation

If you and your divorcing spouse opt to go to divorce mediation, then a third party independent mediator will be hired to be present at negotiations between the two of you. Your lawyers may also be present, and although this isn't required, it is a good idea since a mediator will not give you legal advice. The mediator, trained in negotiations, will help you and your spouse to decide together how assets and property and custody should be apportioned. The mediator won't ever tell you who gets what or what to do, nor will he make a decision for you. He will guide you to listen to each other and guide you to make decisions for yourselves.

Reasons to Consider Divorce Mediation

There are several great reasons to consider settling the issues in your divorce through divorce mediation:

The decision is up to you. A judge doesn't order you to give your husband access to your son every second weekend, nor does a judge order your husband to pick up your son every Tuesday from school. A judge doesn't demand you sell your golf clubs and your husband sell his family heirlooms because you can't agree on a property division. Instead, you can each discuss the things that are important to you and propose a plan that makes sense for you. If you can agree, that becomes the plan.
The costs are lower than litigation. You don't have to pay for expert witnesses, days and days of testimony and opening and closing arguments delivered by lawyers, and the time of a judge and court report in the form of court fees. You do have to pay for a mediator, but the cost is still far less than litigation.
The negotiations are likely to stay nicer. You and your soon-to-be-ex are probably a bit less likely to hurl insults and epithets at each other when a mediator is there to act as a buffer than if you two sit down at your dining room table to try to work out a deal all on your own.

Getting Help

If you are considering divorce mediation, you should speak with an experienced and qualified divorce or family law attorney. Your attorney can prepare you for the mediation or attend the mediation with you. He can help you to make sure you clarify your desires and that you don't give up things the law entitles you to in a fair settlement.

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