Divorce Mediation and Child Custody Issues

Divorce mediation is a voluntary alternative to fighting out your divorce battle in a court of law and letting the judge make a decision. When two people are going to get a divorce, they can try to settle all of their issues themselves outside of the courtroom. If they succeed, they can draw up divorce settlement papers for the judge to approve, and once those papers are approved, the divorce is over. Of course, since you are getting a divorce from your spouse, there is probably some acrimony involved and it may be hard to agree on every aspect of custody and property division- in such cases, the court would then have to decide what was going to happen. However, before the case gets to court, some couples try divorce mediation in order to try to work out their differences themselves.

Working Out Custody at Divorce Mediation

Custody is often one of the most difficult issues to work out in a divorce, since both parents may want access to their children. If you and your spouse cannot agree, you can go to a mediator on this issue. You can either mediate one particular issue of your divorce- such as child custody- or you can have a mediator help you throughout the whole process.

When you are a mediator:

The mediator is an independent third party who uses various techniques to assist you in communicating with your spouse and coming to an agreement.
The mediator is paid by you and your spouse for their time, usually on an hourly basis
The mediator cannot side with one party or the other, in most cases. However, the mediator can talk to both you and your spouse and help you to see where the other side is coming from and what compromises may be appropriate in order for you to arrive at a conclusion.

At mediation, you and your spouse can calmly discuss what is best for you and your children, with the aid of this independent third party to make sure you both listen to each other and that nothing gets out of hand.

Getting Help

Before you agree to mediation, you should hire an experienced divorce or family law attorney to assist you throughout the process. You can bring your lawyer with you to the mediation, or you can simply prepare beforehand with your lawyer and get an overview of your rights and then go to the mediation on your own. It is usually a good idea to bring an attorney since your attorney can make sure you don't agree to anything that is unfair and since your attorney can remain unbiased when negotiating whereas you are more likely to get upset or angry at your spouse.

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