Drawbacks of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation occurs when you and your spouse decide to hire a third party mediator to help you settle issues in your divorce. This is different than hiring an attorney or trying to work everything out on your own. Your attorneys purpose is not to be a mediator, but rather to be an advocate. The mediator, on the other hand, is neutral and assists you and your spouse in achieving a more open level of communication wherein you can each share what you actually hope to get out of the divorce. If you and your spouse can't agree but are hoping to avoid litigation and letting a judge decide, hiring a mediator can be a great solution. However, there are some drawbacks to divorce mediation that you should be aware of.

Divorce Mediation Drawbacks

Before deciding to go the route of divorce mediation, it is important you consider these drawbacks very carefully:

You have to pay for the mediator. Granted, this is less expensive than litigating a divorce, but it is more expensive than just working things out on your own with your lawyers. Plus, if your spouse is not willing to compromise or be fair, then you are just wasting your money going to a mediator and you'd be better off simply going to court and getting it over with without incurring these additional costs.
You have to deal with your spouse. Mediation involves the two of you, with the mediator and potentially your lawyers, sitting in a room and trying to talk things out and agree. Since you are getting a divorce, it stands to reason that working things out and agreeing with your spouse is probably not something either of you are too good at. It can be emotional to try to sit in mediation with your spouse, and anger and sadness can make the process even more difficult.
The mediator isn't a judge or court. He won't take sides, make a decision or tell you what to do. He won't make you cooperate, he won't make your spouse stop lying and he can't compel your spouse to turn over information on hidden assets. This means that, while he can help you, the type of help a mediator can provide is limited in comparison to the help that a judge will offer.

Getting Help

If you and your spouse are considering divorce, speak with an experienced divorce attorney as soon as possible. Your attorney can assess your situation and help you decide if mediation or litigation is right for you. He can also help you through the process of working things out with your spouse so you get a fair deal out of the divorce.

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