Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

Divorce mediation is right for you if you and your spouse are committed to coming to an agreement on how to divide your marital property and custody of your kids, without litigating the case in a contentious and expensive courtroom battle. Many spouses who are divorcing really want to negotiate a divorce settlement on their own and simply present it to a judge to sign off on. Doing your divorce this way can save you a lot of money and it also lets you- not a judge- decide what happens to you in the divorce. Many spouses sit down and try to come to an agreement themselves, or with the help of their attorneys, and just aren't able to do it- a mediator can step in and help you to actually get that agreement done. So, is divorce mediation right for you in your situation?

Deciding if Divorce Mediation Can Work For You

During the mediation process, you and your spouse sit down with an independent third party mediator. Generally, the mediator is well trained in the law and in negotiation practices and methods. Your mediator isn't going to decide anything for you and isn't going to make any rules or tell you how you have to divide up your possessions or kids. Instead, he's going to help you and your spouse talk to each other, make your positions clear and find a compromise that works for both of you.

Divorce mediation can be right for you if:

You and your spouse are both willing to be honest. If one of you is trying to hide assets or be dishonest, then mediation may not work. A judge has the ability to compel a person to turn over information about hidden assets and to hold someone in contempt of court for lying. If you fail to comply with these judicial mandates, you can find yourself in jail. A mediator has no such power, so if one spouse is hiding things, there is no way to compel them to be honest in mediation.
You and your spouse are committed to making mediation work. If you both want what you want and aren't willing to budge or concede on anything, you will end up simply wasting a lot of time arguing in mediation. A mediator can help but he isn't a miracle worker- the divorcing parties have to actually do the hard work.
You and your spouse are speaking to each other and can be civil. You don't want to sit in a room with a mediator and a person you aren't speaking to and hurl insults or argue- that is not only a waste of time, but it is also very emotionally draining and can be counter productive.

Getting Help

If you and your spouse are going to get a divorce, before you consider mediation or any divorce settlement, you need to consult with an attorney. Your attorney can help you to protect your rights to ensure that the settlement you two arrive at- in divorce mediation or on your own- is fair.

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