The Psychologist as Divorce Mediator

Couples who are headed for divorce may want to minimize the stress they are likely to encounter during this emotional time. Hiring a psychologist to act as a divorce mediator may be a good way to ensure that communication remains positive. Even when a marital split may be amicable between the parties, the children will always be affected and counseling from a trained professional will help the entire family cope during this traumatic time.

How a Psychologist Can Help

Mediators are trained to deal with highly volatile situations. There is probably very little they haven’t seen or heard before. They will focus on the same issues that the court will be examining, such as who gets custody of the children and how a parenting plan can help guide them to what’s best for the kids. The breakdown of the marriage may be due to many factors, some of which could include substance abuse, domestic violence, infidelity or a recent family crisis. These are some examples of how a psychologist can be an asset:

Help the children understand that the divorce is not their fault
Reassure the children that both parents still love them
Open the lines of communication between the spouses who may be at war with each other
Keep the parties from assigning blame to one another
Show the parents how they can work out an agreement that is fair to everyone
Keep the parties from going back to court seeking revisions to their divorce agreement

Psychologists are skilled at looking down the road and may be able to spot potential hazards. People going through a stressful event may fail to recognize minor issues that may become land mines in the future. Divorce mediation can also show that the family relationships are not at an end; they are just being reorganized.

Mediation Can Help Retain Your Sanity

The process of divorce can literally make people feel like they are losing their sanity. Allegations by one spouse about the other, whether it’s true or not, is enough to make anyone crazy. Litigation is an adversarial process that can leave both parties hurt and angry. Mediation offers an alternative by promoting cooperation among the parties. Even after the couple is divorced, they still remain parents. They will need to learn how to deal with their ex-spouse without constantly fighting or pitting the children against one another.

The Divorce Attorney’s Role

Most clinical psychologists recommend that couples who are seeking a divorce get advice from an attorney. While the psychologist is a trained professional in counseling, they do not practice law and cannot answer legal questions about the divorce process. It is important to understand the divorce laws in your state and how child custody, property distribution and alimony will be handled. Each state has their own laws and every case is different. Therefore, you should hire a family law attorney who can make sure your interests are safeguarded.

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