Serving Divorce Papers: You Served Her WHEN?

This story was inspired by a real situation—sad to say.

A friend of mine, who was also once my client in what is surely a contender for the “divorce from hell” awards, relayed this to me. (The couple are divorced, but the case is still open due to numerous legal matters too ghastly to mention.)

The attorney who is currently wrapping up all the nasty legal matters, knowing that the former Mrs. DFH (Divorce From Hell--not their real name!) is remarrying, proposed to serve her with papers AT THE AIRPORT—as she was to embark on her honeymoon.

For some strange reason, I had a deep visceral reaction to this—sort like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Thankfully, this friend/former client trusts me and agreed to ask his attorney not to do this. Happily, the actual attorney (whose hourly rate would curl your hair) was not able to meet with my friend, and the assistant agreed that this gotcha was unnecessary and/or unadvisable. (Attorneys are, believe it or not, ethically bound to use heir judgment in these matters, and are not supposed to do whatever their clients say!) The children will stay with their dad during the honeymoon, which they very much want to do. (For several years, this would not have been possible.) Can you imagine the fallout of this bombshell for future visitation?

I wish I could say this time of bombshell litigation is rare… but it is not. But thankfully, not everyone buys it. If there was ever a case where one side has won every round, and the kids have suffered for it, this is such a case. Maybe Mr. Current Attorney really just wanted his client to feel he had “won one.” I don’t know. But I do know a win like that would have been a pyrrhic victory, if at all. Any inclination to “play nice” Mom may soon develop due to her new marriage would have been shattered—and new hubby can afford to keep fighting. And Dad, a peacemaker in his own eyes, would have felt sick inside, probably forever. Do you even want to think what the kids would have thought?

So… here’s hoping the integrity NOT to do this will prove the true victory.

Please be human Mr. Attorney, sir—or Madame! There are children watching...

From the author: Southern California Divorce Mediation

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