Steps For Father To Get Custody

A father must show the court (or parenting expert) that he can care for the child physically and emotionally in order to get custody. Most states have laws which state the custody must be established in the “best interests of the child.” Different states set different criteria for establishing the best interests of the child. There is always a debate about what is in the best interests of a child, but there is typically no debate about what is NOT good for children including the following:

Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol;
Parents who are physically or emotionally abusive to others;
Parents who have historically not shown an interest or taken an active role in caring for their children;
Parents who cannot communicate or agree on major child-rearing decisions cannot share joint custody (if parents cannot agree on major issues, one parent will likely be awarded sole physical custody with the other parent having “parenting time” or “visitation”.)

While every case is fact-specific, below are some steps to help a father get custody of his child after divorce.

Step One

A father seeking temporary custody or final custody must show that he can care for the child’s physical and emotional needs. A father who has not been actively involved in a child’s life should show the court how the bond between the father and the child must be encouraged for the sake of the child. It is important to always present evidence in a way that the child’s well-being is the focus of the argument. Fathers are sometimes not as active in raising young children and in that case, a father must show the court he can take the children to the doctor or the dentist. He must show he can provide nurturing including a clean house and good meals for growing kids.

Step Two

Fathers must remain focused on the child’s needs when making arguments for custody. A father must not focus on his own needs or on how the father will benefit from the relationship; rather must focus on how the child will benefit from the relationship and the primary custody with the father.

Step Three

A father must refrain from being vindictive of from being too emotional regarding the mother. Overly criticizing the mother can back-fire in court because the father may appear to be unreasonable or the court may suspect that the father would alienate the child from the mother. The court generally assumes children fare better when they have access and respect from both parents. The court will be more likely to award custody to a parent who can show he will allow the child to have a relationship with the other parent.

Step Four

A father must show that he can provide a safe and stable home for the children. If he will not be remaining in the marital home, he should find a place to live in the child’s school district so the child can attend the same school and maintain the same friends and community activities. The more involved a father can be in a community, the better for his child, and the better for gaining custody.

Getting Legal Help

Some courts are more likely to award custody to a mother based on stereotypical expectations that a mother will be a better parent to a child.Family law attorneys know what the court is seeking in making custody determinations in favor of a father. An experienced family law attorney can help you negotiate the best custody outcome for you and your child.

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