Tips for Men Negotiating Alimony During Divorce (Paying Alimony)

The amount of money paid to an ex-spouse has sometimes been referred to as divorce alimony. Due to this type of negative connotation, most states now refer to alimony as spousal support or maintenance. Traditionally, the husband was responsible for paying money to the wife, but with more couples earning a living, it can be awarded to either spouse, depending on their financial circumstances.

Various Types of Alimony

The primary reason for awarding spousal support is to make sure that the standard of living that both parties enjoyed during the marriage is maintained once the couple has split up. Any alimony awarded prior to a divorce is known as “pendente lite alimony” in legal circles. When the family court awards support payments to the spouse, it can be done in a variety of ways; some of which are:

• Permanent Alimony—This is usually paid until the spouse gets remarried or dies. Some agreements may be written to include a clause regarding cohabitation. For example, alimony will end if the recipient lives with another person, rather than getting married.

• Lump Sum Alimony—The amount of alimony is made in one payment, rather than payments made over a period of time. There may be certain tax implications, so be sure to consult with a financial advisor before agreeing to this type of alimony.

• Temporary Alimony—This is intended to compensate the spouse for a short period of time, usually one to two years. It may be awarded to a spouse when financial assistance is needed for the purpose of getting them on their feet.

• Rehabilitative Alimony—Courts often grant this when the spouse needs money before returning to the work force. Sometimes this is used to pay for education and retraining to acquire skills necessary for obtaining a new job.

Tips for Negotiating With Your Spouse

There are a number of factors to consider when negotiating alimony payments. Here are some tips that may help you:

• Set a time limit—Some states place a limit on the length of time alimony can be paid. However, if your state law does not limit the timeframe, you can make a reasonable offer to your wife that is fair to both of you.

• Let her keep the house—Most women will want to stay in the family home, especially if there are minor children to care for. You could offer not to pay any alimony and let her keep the house, stipulating that she will be responsible for the mortgage payments.

• Other property or assets—You could offer her the option of keeping the family car or giving her something else of value in lieu of alimony or a lower alimony payment. This could be valuable artwork, jewelry, the vacation cabin or even a prized family heirloom that you’ve been fighting over. Always try to be creative in your approach.

• Expenses or gifts for the children—Many fathers offer to pay extra expenses for the children for a reduction in spousal support. For example, you know that your kids will want something special for Christmas or need expensive equipment for their most recent sport or hobby. She may agree to let you pay for this instead.

How a Family Law Attorney Can Help

The divorce process can be an extremely emotional time in anyone’s life. Negotiating anything with your spouse may be difficult at best, especially if there have been infidelity or custody disputes. Negotiating alimony will be no easy chore and may be best handled by your attorney. Whatever deal you are able to put together, never agree to one that requires you to reveal your income every year.