Ways To Negotiate Child Custody In Court

When negotiating in custody court, it’s important to remember that the court is trying to determine which parent can provide for the child’s needs. Keeping the child’s best interests in mind, there are different ways to negotiate child custody in court. 

Custody Preferences

The easiest custody case is that where one parent is clearly fit and the other is not.  In the case where both parents are fit parents, but they disagree on who should have custody or how the parenting time schedule should be established, the court must choose between two good parents and try to arrange a schedule which best serves the child.  There can also be situations where neither parent is a fit parent, and the court must look to someone other than a parent to have custody responsibilities (such as a grandparent or aunt).  The court will look to immediate family members to have custody of a child who does not have a fit parent and only after exhausting immediate relatives, will the court look beyond the family to award custody of a child.

Negotiating Custody Today is Different than in Years Past

In years past, the mother was almost always given sole custody because it was assumed that younger children need nurturing from their mom more than their dad. As parenting roles have changed over time, so have state’s laws regarding custody.  A mother still might have an easier time getting sole custody of children if she has been home with them and the father has been working full-time or has not been actively involved in raising the children.

Historically states have been very narrow-minded in their custody awards.  In the past, states have considered whether a parent is homosexual or whether a step parent is of a different race than the child in making custody determinations. Most states no longer use such considerations, but a few states are slow to change their ways. 

Presenting Your Best Case for Custody

Parents can get caught up in personal attacks on each other and the court will be most persuaded by the parent whose arguments are child-centered rather than parent-centered.  Some different ways to present your case in negotiating are:

  1. The child will be supported and encouraged by the parent who is actively involved in the child’s school.
  2. The child will be encouraged to maintain a relationship with the other parent and extended family more if one parent has primary care of the child than the other parent.
  3. The child will remain in the same home he has been in during the marriage and will be able to maintain the same neighborhood, friends, and support system in the primary care of one parent rather than the other.

When negotiating child custody, each parent should remember that the court wants the children to have the love and support of both parents. A parent who gets too emotional during the custody determination process, or one who threatens the other parent or the court is only hurting his/her own chances of having custody. The key to negotiating custody is to keep the arguments focused on what is best for the children.

Getting Legal Help

An experienced family law attorney can help you come up with the best plan for negotiating custody based on your particular experience. Custody is a very fact-specific issue which is also subjective. An experienced family law attorney will be invaluable in negotiating custody for you.

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