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If you are a mother who is separating from a spouse, you may wonder how a woman can obtain legal custody during divorce. There are actually two types of legal custody you may be concerned about: physical custody, which refers to who a child actually lives with, and the formal definition of "legal" custody, which refers to the right to make decisions about a child and have access to a child's medical and education records. In most cases, when a divorcing mom refers to legal custody, she actually means she wants to get physical custody under a legal order or court order.
There are two major ways to work out a custody agreement in a divorce. You and your spouse can get together and create an agreement and the court can sign off on it, or you and your spouse can go to court and the court can decide. If the two of you can come to an agreement together with the help of your lawyers or a mediator, this is often faster and less expensive and can lead to less acrimony and be healthier for your child.
If you simply cannot agree, the court can decide who will get custody. While the divorce laws differ from state to state, in every situation, the courts primary concern is to determine what is in the best interests of the child. Thus, the best way for a woman to get custody is to convince the court the child is better off with her.
This can involve showing the court that she can provide more consistency or that she has been the primary caregiver. For example, she may argue she has stayed home with the child for years and that the child has grown up only knowing the family home. It can provide the child with more continuity to then stay in that family home with her and allow her to continue to provide care.
In most situations, except in cases of abuse or where the father has proven himself unfit, a father will be awarded at least partial visitation rights since the court generally believes it is in the best interests of the child to have both parents in his life. If you want full custody, you will thus need to give the court a reason why the child should not see his father at all.
The best answer to how a woman can obtain legal custody during divorce is that she should speak to an experienced divorce or family lawyer. A divorce lawyer can help her to prove her case to the judge and get to keep her children with her where they belong.