How Women Should Go About Reaching a Custody Agreement

When couples are facing divorce, working out a custody agreement can be a long and difficult process. More people are opting for joint physical custody as they realize it is important for children to continue their relationship with both a mother and father. Women are more likely to be the primary caregivers and are awarded custody more often than men. However, the last thing you want to put your children is a protracted custody battle. Working out an agreement with your ex-spouse will go a long way to helping the family heal during this difficult time.

Get to Know the Child Custody Laws

The laws pertaining to child custody vary in each state and becoming familiar with them can help you get prepared when working out an agreement. When the family court makes decisions regarding custody, they always look at what is in the best interests of the children. Even though some custody cases may be unique, there are some key factors that a judge will take into consideration, such as:

  • What is the parent and child relationship?
  • Conduct and lifestyle of the parents and how it impacts the children
  • The mental and physical health of both spouses and if it will negatively affect the children
  • Can one parent provide for the children better financial or emotionally?
  • The child’s preference, when age appropriate
  • The routine of the child and how a divorce will affect their schooling or religious upbringing

When very young children are involved in a custody dispute, the court will generally award custody to the parent who has been the primary caregiver.

What is a Parenting Agreement?

The laws regarding divorce and family law change frequently and some states now require divorcing spouses to file a formal parenting plan agreement. You will need to know the statutes in your state because some require that a lawyer submit the plan to the family court. Whether or not your divorce is amicable, it is in your best interest to try and work out a plan for your children’s future. Most parenting agreements outline the responsibilities of each parent in raising their children. Typical factors to be considered when constructing such a plan may include:

The type of custody being sought—this might be sole custody, joint physical custody, joint legal custody, or split custody.

The living arrangements—It is important not to disrupt the children’s routine, especially during the school year. One parent may choose to have the children during that time and let the other parent have custody during spring and summer break. Dividing up time over the holidays is always an important factor to consider and include in the agreement.

Visitation schedule—Not only should this include visitation for the spouse without physical custody, it should include the children’s extended family.

Children’s education—Uprooting a child from a school they are familiar with where they have made friends can be devastating to them. In the event that they must start at a new school, try to do this when the school year begins and not in the middle of it. Each parent must agree to help with homework and special assignments.

Religious upbringing—In families where there is more than one type of religious faith being practiced, this may be a difficult area in which to come to terms. Remember that most states try to minimize religious disputes and may order you and your spouse to attend mediation.

Medical emergencies—It is a fact that children are often the victims of bicycle or skateboarding accidents. It is imperative to have a plan to address how each parent will handle a medical emergency and notify the other spouse if this occurs.

Working out a plan with the father of your children may be your best approach in reaching a fair agreement that will help the future of all the family members involved.

Hiring a Family Law Attorney

Men often use child custody as a bargaining chip in an attempt to reduce their financial obligation to the spouse. When you are unable to reach a fair custody agreement, it’s time to get some help from the legal experts. Who your children live with and how they are raised may be the most important decision that will your life. This is no time to risk your happiness or theirs and hiring a family law attorney may be your best option to ensuring a good outcome for all concerned.

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