Divorce Mediation: The Easy Way Out?

If you and your spouse have decided that your marriage is over, divorce mediation may be an option for you.  What is Divorce Mediation?  Divorce Mediation is basically a process where the two marriage partners sit together with an attorney and/or mediator, and come to mutual decisions with regard to financial settlement of the marital property and custody and access schedules if the marriage has produced minor children.  The goal is to allow each couple to work their own agreement, instead of 2 adversarial attorneys and judge.

Divorce Mediation Can Be Much Less Costly

This process can be much less expensive  than hiring 2 separate attorneys and arguing it out in several months of pre-trial conferences and court appearances. Additionally, divorce mediation can often complete the process of divorce much more quickly than a traditional, more adversarial divorce.

How Mediation Works in a Divorce Case

What can you Expect?  The initial meeting with a mediator should be to review each party's expectations and determine which issues need to be resolved.  Then, the mediator will make suggestions and provide "rule of thumb" information on the issues.  The couple then decides how they wish to resolve the issue.  The mediator will put the couples agreements into a final separation and property settlement agreement.

Finalizing the Divorce Agreement

Each party should then have the agreement reviewed with an attorney of their own to ensure that they understand the rights and obligations they will have under the Agreement.  Once the agreement is signed, the agreement is submitted to the court under the appropriate state's statutory requirements and the agreement is incorporated into a final judgment of divorce.

Who Should Consider Divorce Mediation

Why should a couple mediate?  Some people believe that mediation is a better alternative to our court system which tends to be lengthy, costly and adversarial.  If a couple is on an even negotiating level, they can determine their own settlement.  I believe that this preserves the family to the greatest extent and allows the relationships between the parents to continue to focus on the best interest of the children in the new and post-divorce "family" unit.

When Mediation Might Not Be The Best Option

Who should not mediate?  Those couples that have a history of any type of domestic violence, verbal or physical abuse, or just merely are unable to equally discuss these important topics are not suitable couples for divorce mediation.  The  mediator should ask appropriate questions to ensure that each party is capable of negotiation.

How Much Will Divorce Mediation Cost?

What you can expect to pay?  Most mediators will ask for a retainer and will charge hourly for the meetings and drafting of the agreement.  The more meetings necessary to resolve the issues, the higher the cost.  A less complicated mediation will probably cost between $1200 and can go upwards of $3,000 depending on the fees charged by the mediator.  You should expect to review and sign a retainer agreement and ask what types of charges are anticipated prior to commencing mediation.  The mediator's fee will usually not include the fees and costs associated with the final divorce action (for example, in New York, fees are approximately $350 for filing of the action in court and legal fees can be approximately $500 to draft the actual divorce instruments required in New York).  Each state will differ in these fees and some states have "do it yourself" divorce filings.

The Bottom Line

If mediation sounds like it might be beneficial to you and your family, find out from your local bar association which attorneys and/or mediators are available in your area and explore the options.  If all else in your marriage has failed, perhaps mediation is the positive ending you need to move on with your life. 

• This page is provided for informational purposes only. If you need advice regarding Divorce Laws, click here to talk to Roseanne J. Moran or a Divorce Lawyer near you.